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What I Learned When My Kidneys Failed, Part VI

November 2, 2013


I previously intended to end this series with the five parts previously posted. However, I recently received a letter from my donor. Not only do I want to share this message from this amazing person, I want to share it with all of you who have been following my story. I think this is the perfect end to this series, as there is nothing else I can add.

So here it is, edited slightly to preserve confidentiality:

Hi. I’m so happy to hear from you! Even happier to hear that you are doing so good!!! What a thoughtful note; incredibly kind and straight to the point. I understand if you would not like to know too much about each other and will joyfully respect that that resolve if I am not to hear back from you after you receive this. As for me on this end, I have absolutely no qualms about exchanging mail from time to time, or just once a year on that faithful August 15th…because it means so much to me to hear that you are well and continue to be well. You were not told, it was obviously not known, that my kidney WAS just to help you directly.

Let’s start with this, I am not a religious person either. Or rather, I am obviously not, a religious person.  I notably heard about living kidney donation somewhere around 7 years ago, on NPR. A guy told a story about listening to NPR himself and hearing a story about living kidney donation and knowing, somehow knowing that moment, that he he was going to do it to. And honestly, something dawned on me that moment as well! And it was then, that you and I started our invisible line toward each other.

It took me a while to finally be in a place where it fit, all the tests and finally the surgery…but I thought about you often…my person…we didn’t know each other-bound for each other…that thought made me fell connected to something larger, than very large things!

I have two children and an amazing husband who I couldn’t be in love with more (except I find that I am! In love with more almost daily). But you were a different large thing. You were me connection to man. Nothing to do with a god or a good deed or karma…Just us. People. We don’t care for each other enough. We knee-jerk. We judge. Once I committed to a donation, I knew I had to accept my recipient for exactly who they are. This was not hard. In my mind, you were dying…you were a person with potential, who was dying. That’s all I had to accept.

And I could help.

You ended your note to me saying your wish for me and my loved one to have days filled with joy adventure and love…you had no idea that you were wishing yourself that, you and me-because you are the “loved one.” You were the reason that I donated my kidney. They call it altruistic donation, I like to think I was donating to you. And the joy, adventure and love? It shall be done!It has already begun, no doubt.

I can’t tell how relieved I am that you are doing so much better, and further, I am so happy that you are happy!! Happy with new life and eager to live it with explosive exuberance! I must thank you as well-I now know something that few people do. I have learned something that will change and grow me in a brand new new wonderful way. I am incredibly humbled to have been able to help you. I made no sacrifice friend, it must be some other way around…we seem to sacrifice so much of ourselves for such petty things…it’s no sacrifice to help someone live…that is an honor. Maybe there are no words for some things.

Live. Live well. I will do the same.

The very best to you-


From → Health

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